A transfer suggestion that makes no sense
Erling Haaland is not joining Manchester United. Let's get that out of the way. But the fact that the idea was floated at all tells you something about how desperate some corners of the football world are for a story.
When you're the best striker on the planet, playing for the best team in the country, and your dad used to play for the club you're at, the idea of moving to the other lot across town isn't just unlikely. It's absurd.
Why it's a non-starter
Haaland's connection to City runs deeper than most. His father, Alf-Inge, wore the blue shirt. The Norwegian has spoken about the pull of that history. And he's under contract at the Etihad until 2027, with no sign of either side wanting to change that.
Then there's the football. Why would you leave a side that's won four consecutive Premier League titles, a Treble, and the Club World Cup? United, meanwhile, finished eighth last season. Eighth.
The bigger picture
This isn't really about Haaland. It's about the noise that surrounds City. Every window, there's a story. Every season, a crisis that never comes. The club has learned to live with it.
So no, Haaland isn't going to Old Trafford. But if you needed a reminder of the gap between the two clubs right now, the fact that this was even a talking point is it.